


I don't want to miss a thing

by Popstar



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Joe is a meddler, M/M, Romance, Romantic Fluff, iditos in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21894325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Popstar/pseuds/Popstar
Summary: “That. What you’re wearing. It looks like you’ve raided Gwil’s closet.” Joe gestures up and down, trying to emphasise what he means.Ben can feel his cheeks heat up at that and he bites his lip for a moment. “Well, the jumper is his.”Or the one where Joe nudges Ben into the right direction.
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Gwilym Lee
Comments: 20
Kudos: 68





	I don't want to miss a thing

**Author's Note:**

> This came as a surprise but I needed to get it out of my system. 
> 
> [crownheartsteacup](http://crownheartsteacup.tumblr.com) is the best person in the world and she's the best for reading this over. <3 
> 
> The title is shamelessly stolen from Aerosmith. 
> 
> **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything and this is simply for entertainment. Don't want to hurt anyone's feelings here and am not implying anything - it's just fiction that sprung from my imagination.

Ben beams at him when Joe walks through the door and he practically throws himself at him, never even thinking about the other people at the cafe. Not that there are many, but Ben doesn’t usually care about what other people think anyway. “Joe. It’s so good to see you,” he tells him as he buries his face against the fabric of his coat. He hasn’t seen him in a while and it always feels like an eternity when they don’t see each other for over a month. It’s just convenient that Ben is in New York for the premiere of his new movie and of course he has invited Joe, Rami and Lucy to join him. It would have been stupid not to meet up, especially now that Ben is working so close by. The only one who can’t make it because he’s busy doing his own filming is Gwil. Of course Ben would have loved to have him here as well, but he also understands that work is more important than jetting halfway across the globe for a movie premiere for a Netflix film. He doesn’t judge Gwil, of course not. He would just have loved to have him there.

Joe laughs and squeezes him back. “It is. Missed your face.” He leans back enough to look at him, taking a long hard look at him, before his gaze comes back to Ben’s face and he raises an eyebrow at him. “What happened to you though?”

Ben tilts his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“That. What you’re wearing. It looks like you’ve raided Gwil’s closet.” Joe gestures up and down, trying to emphasise what he means.

Ben can feel his cheeks heat up at that and he bites his lip for a moment. “Well, the jumper is his.” He shrugs and buries his hands in the pocket of his trousers. The last time Ben spent at Gwil’s flat he managed to spill wine over his own jumper so Gwil was nice enough to lend Ben one of his and Ben simply hasn’t gotten around to giving it back to him. It has just been convenient for him to take it with him to Montreal. Or anywhere, really. It is quite the nice quality and a good fit for him as well, he likes to think. “And besides, we swap clothes all the time. All of us. It’s not a big deal.”

Joe cocks an eyebrow at that. “Robbing the poor man of his clothes. Don’t you have a heart, Ben Hardy?” He teases and then nods to the table Ben has sat at. “C’mon, let’s sit down and order. I could use a coffee. And you need to tell me things.” He pushes his hand in the small of Ben’s back and guides him back to the table he was seated at, leaving Ben a little rattled at what Joe could be referring to. He always tells Joe things. Almost instantly. Joe is one of his best friends and he will always be. There isn’t much Ben hasn’t said to keep him in the loop these days. After all, Ben has been working on his new project a lot, not leaving him enough room to do much outside of that, except maybe hang out with his co-stars.

Once they are seated and have placed their orders Joe turns his attention back to Ben and gives him an expecting look. “So.”

“So?” Ben asks back when he doesn’t say anything else. “So what?”

“What’s with you and Mr handsome’s sweater?” Joe points at Ben’s jumper again, making Ben raise his eyebrows.

“What’s with it? We’ve shared clothes before, as I’ve said. You’ve shared clothes with him before and you and I did that, too. I don’t see the problem?” Ben frowns, tilting his head to the side again and blinks. He really doesn’t know what Joe is referring to and why he is making such a deal out of it.

“Oh Benny.” Joe laughs softly. “You’ve borrowed my stuff, sure, but you’ve never consciously picked it when you had to pack a suitcase to travel somewhere and I’m pretty sure neither Gwil nor I have done that. So. What’s with it?”

Ben frowns some more. “I like the jumper, Joe. That’s it. Nothing special about that.”

“Well, it’s pretty special if you like it so much. It’s Gwil’s.” Joe kicks him under the table, his eyes still locked with Ben’s.

“That’s got something to do with it, yes. But it’s not the main part.” Ben sighs softly. It’s not the first time Joe is trying to imply something, or trying to make him admit something. Ben doesn’t quite know if he ever wants to admit it out loud though, could ever admit it, really. Yes, of course. He loves Gwil. He loves Joe and Rami, too. But with Gwil it’s always been a little different, more somehow. He feels closer to him, a little more drawn to him and maybe it’s Gwil’s lovely character and his big heart and his humour and quite maybe it’s also how blue his eyes are and how handsome he looks and maybe the whole package that have Ben’s heart flutter a little too much when he thinks about him.

But it’s also something that will never happen. Gwil is his friend, one of his bests, and nothing more. So Ben hasn’t dared to admit anything to himself, even though deep down he knows just how much he loves Gwil, how much he’s in love with him. He hasn’t told anyone about it, not even Joe. The only thing he has ever admitted to him is how attractive Ben thinks Gwil is and that was under the influence of a lot of alcohol. Joe had agreed at the time, but after that he’s been prodding and getting on Ben’s nerves as he has been trying to achieve something that will never happen.

Joe raises an eyebrow. “It’s the main part,” he insists. “It’s okay, Ben. I’m not jealous. I mean, I _am_ jealous. But different. Like, I know that you love him differently than me. And it’s okay, I can live with that. I’d just like to see you happy, you know? You’ve been in love with him for so long and you haven’t done anything. You know that Gwil loves you, too.”

“Not like that, though.” Ben frowns as he speaks, his voice quiet. It’s not really how he pictured the conversation with Joe to go if he is really honest. He just wanted to catch up with him, happy to see him after a month of not hanging out together and barely having time to call or text. Ben doesn’t constantly want to be reminded about his miserable love life. It hurts to admit that he’s in love with someone who doesn’t want him back, it really does hurt.

Now that he’s talking about it though it feels like a weight is lifted off his shoulders. It’s weird to admit it to Joe, even though he hasn’t really said anything. But Joe isn’t stupid, Ben knows that. Joe knows him better than anyone else and he will always look right through Ben.

Joe smiles at him and reaches across the table to take his hand and give it a squeeze. “Like that, too. You’re just both afraid to make the first move. You know him, he’s shy. He’s like the shyest person I know when it comes to that. And you’re only a close second.”

Ben chuckles softly, shaking his head fondly. Yes, it’s true. He’s never really been good at flirting when he really means it. He’s pretty good at flirting for the sake of flirting and most people take his politeness and cheekiness for flirting anyway. But when it actually counts, Ben usually chickens out. Of course he flirts with Gwil and Gwil flirts back, but they are both so awkward about it Ben never imagined in a million years that there could be something more behind it. “Joe. It’s nice of you to want to set me up. But it’s never going to work. I promise you I’m fine. I really am. Gwil and I are great friends and I don’t want to jeopardise that.”

Joe sighs. “I want to say I’ll make you say it, but I won’t because it’s not the right thing to do. I can only nudge you into the right direction. You’ll have to do the rest and if you don’t want to do it. Well.” He squeezes Ben’s hand again and then lets go again, switching the subject as suddenly as he has started it.

Of course Ben knows that Joe means well and he’d love to take his advice and be happy. But it’s something Ben can’t bring himself to do. There’s so much at stake. Gwil and he are friends, the best of them and Ben is too much of a coward to risk ever losing that.

—

The thoughts Joe has planted in Ben’s mind don’t leave him though. He can’t help but miss Gwil at the premiere, especially since Rami, Lucy and Joe are there. Gwil sends his regards and a few messages, wishing him luck and Ben can’t help but smile, letting the warm feeling spread out inside of him. He misses him so much he actually is considering Joe’s advice and actually talk to Gwil, although Ben really isn’t a hundred percent sure if the feelings are mutual and Gwil loves him back or if Joe and he are just imagining things. Not that he’s daring to imagine a lot at all. He never really wanted to admit to himself that he’s in love with Gwil in the first place, but Joe got that out of him. Of course he knew it, deep down, but now that it’s out there and he’s indirectly even said it out loud, it feels different because it feels real.

The week passes more than quickly with promotion interviews and photo shootings taking up the days. He barely gets enough time to meet up with the others before he’s got to be back in Montreal to finish the project for the year. Afterwards he flies back to London for another round of promotion set up, more interviews and some more promotional stuff. He feels honoured to be doing it, to be requested for it. But on the other hand he’s not the most excited about interviews, especially since he’s got to do most of them on his own.

Since he’s so busy he can’t think a lot about his love life or lack thereof and Ben is relieved about that on the one hand. On the other hand, those thoughts are what’s keeping him up at night when he should really catch some sleep and get the rest he needs to survive the next days. He’s always been an over thinker and he loves analysing everything, even though he’s getting nowhere.

When Gwil calls him about meeting up though Ben can’t help but smile widely. “Of course,” he tells him and bites his lip. “Wanna go to the pub down the road where you live? I know you love it there and I’d make all the way over, too.”

“You could come by when you’re in the neighbourhood anyway? I’d cook and we could have wine, or beer if you preferred that?” Gwil suggests, making Ben’s heart skip a beat. “We don’t have to go to the pub. I’m sure you’d want a few hours of quiet now after the promo you’ve been stacking up.”

“Sure, I’d love to,” Ben replies and smiles a little wider. “Oh, and I‘ll bring the jumper I borrowed last time. I’ve still got that.”

Gwil chuckles softly. “Yeah, I know. I saw it on the one photo Joe sent over from New York. Suits you though. Maybe you should keep it. And besides, I’ve got yours here. The one you managed to spill wine over. Maybe I’ll keep that instead. Fair trade and all.”

“Not to mention that you’ve still got my shirt from France,” Ben tells him, a slight blush on his cheeks when he thinks back about the weekend. “Not that I’m counting or anything. But you seem to really like my clothes.”

“I do, actually. Very comfy and quite soft, both of them. Love the feeling of the fabric on my skin,” Gwil tells him, his voice soft and it sends a shiver down Ben’s spine. Great, now they are talking about jumpers and all Ben can think about is Gwil’s skin and making him feel different things.

“Good. Anyway, I’ve got to run. But I’ll come by. Just text me a time and a place and I’ll be there. I mean, I still know where you live, but yeah.” Ben laughs softly, rolling his eyes at his own stupidity.

“Alright. See you soon. And take care.” They quickly say their goodbyes and then end the call, leaving Ben to shake his head at himself for acting so stupid. He’s way too awkward when it comes to serious flirting. Flirting for fun, being a bit cheeky that he can do. Actually winning someone over without making them think he’s a complete and utter idiot, not so much.

—

He doesn’t tell Joe about dinner with Gwil because it’s not something he wants Joe to meddle with. Not that Joe would stab him in the back like that. But Ben wants to make sure he has some time with just Gwil and himself, just the two of them, without Rami, Joe or Lucy around. It’s a bit mean because they would all have a lovely time together but he has had Joe to himself and he has spent some time alone with Rami and Lucy as well, now he wants Gwil all to himself, doesn’t want to share him, share his attention.

He feels a bit stupid as he rings the bell, just as he has done so often before, but now there is something else there. It’s not just the thought of Ben visiting a friend. It’s Ben visiting a friend whom he is in love with. And he’s not too sure if he knows how to deal with that.

Gwil buzzes him in once he has made sure it’s Ben over the intercom and he smiles brightly at him once Ben has climbed the stairs. “Hello Ben,” he greets him, his voice warm as ever and the look on his face full of love. It makes Ben’s heart skip a beat and he can’t help but beam back at him, practically throwing himself into Gwil’s arms.

“Hi Gwil. You look good,” he tells him as he breathes him in subtly, smelling of cooking and his cologne. He does look good because Gwil always looks good, whether he’s sporting a beard or not or wears his hair short or long. Ben likes everything on him and he is quite sure that he should have admitted sooner what it means, put that into words.

“Thank you. You too. Handsome as ever.” Gwil grins and leans back, squeezing his arms gently. “C’mon in. Dinner is almost ready.”

Ben nods and follows him inside, toeing off his shoes as he closes the door behind him. “Sorry I didn’t bring any wine or anything. But you didn’t ask and I didn’t know what to bring because you know your wine better than I do. I got chocolate though, as dessert?”

Gwil laughs softly. “I made a mousse a chocolate as dessert. So no chocolate needed. And don’t worry about it, Ben. You didn’t have to bring anything besides yourself.”

“I thought about bringing Frankie though. But I would have had to stop at my parents’ first and pick her up and it would have been a bit stupid considering I’m going there in a few days anyway,” Ben tells him as they make their way into the kitchen.

“Yeah, a bit. Although I would have loved to have seen her. But some other time then,” Gwil agrees and gestures towards the table. “Go on, sit down. I’ll serve us in a moment.”

  
“Can I help with anything?” Ben offers and follows Gwil to the stove instead of sitting down at the table. He stands a little closer than necessary to him and peeks into the pots over Gwil’s shoulder.

Gwil laughs softly and turns his head to give him a fond look. “You’ve got two left hands in the kitchen and I remember you clearly stating that all you can make is scrambled eggs and toast. So no, but thank you.”

Ben looks up and grins at him. “You’ll have to teach me then, someday.”

“Maybe, someday. So you can impress your next girlfriend,” Gwil agrees and chuckles before he turns his attention back to the pots and the stove.

Ben hums and leans against the kitchen counter next to him, crossing his arms over his chest, deciding to take a leap. “What if I don’t want a girlfriend anymore?”

Gwil looks up at that, quite obviously surprised. “Well, then it’s okay, too. I mean, I’m a bit surprised because... well, you’re not... You’re a relationship kind of guy, Ben. I don’t want to patronise you in anyway, but I don’t think it would make you happy.”

“Oh. Yes. I know.” Ben chuckles and drops his arms again only to push his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I want a relationship. I’m just... It doesn’t necessarily have to be with a woman.” He keeps his gaze on Gwil’s, even though his cheeks feel like they are burning and he watches realisation wash over Gwil’s face. It’s the first time Ben has said something like that to him and he is only the third person Ben has told at all. Only his mother and Joe are the other two people who know and Ben has had a hard time saying these words out loud. Not because he is ashamed to admit who he is but because it’s hard to tell people who have known him so well how he really feels, letting them know he’s been hiding stuff from them.

“Oh.” Gwil nods. “Oh, yes. Sure, of course.” He smiles softly at that. “Well, it’s good. I’m sure there are enough men out there who would want to be with you and make you happy. Because you deserve it, Ben.”

Ben smiles back at him and reaches out to squeeze Gwil’s arm gently. “Thank you, Gwil. You too.”

Gwil laughs softly and shakes his head. “I’ve given up for now. I’m happy as single. Although the only regret I’m having, I’m not going to get a dog any time soon.”

Ben watches him closely, taking in the little sadness around his eyes and he knows that he should ask, that he should prod and be a bit bolder about this because he wants to know and he wants Gwil to be happy, but he also doesn’t know how to do it and maybe he’s a little too afraid of the answer he will be getting. “You deserve to be happy, too, Gwil.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that. And I am happy, I mean it. Of course, I have pictured everything a little different. But it’s good.” Gwil smiles and then turns his attention back to the pots. “Do you want to open the wine maybe? Pour us both a glass? I think we might need it seeing as we keep on having deep conversations.”

Ben chuckles softly. “You want to get me drunk, Gwilym Lee?”

“You’ve looked right through me.” Gwil grins and winks at him. “If you drink too much you can kip here if you want. I’ll set up the guest room for you. Or you can share with me.”

Ben nods. “Thanks. And you don’t have to set up the room for me. We’ve shared before. It’s not a big deal.” He smiles and finally moves over to open the wine just as requested. Gwil hasn’t even offered him the couch to sleep on and Ben is fine with that, he really is. They have shared a bed before and nothing happened. In fact, it was quite nice. It almost felt like they were on a real romantic getaway in France and not just for work. He doesn’t want his mind to go there though.

Once the wine is poured they toast to a great evening and then finally Gwil serves them the food. Ben can’t help but smile as he tastes it. He loves Gwil’s cooking skills and he loves that he’s making him all the best food in the world. Maybe Ben should really learn how to cook for himself and make himself such delicious meals. But on the other hand it would mean he couldn’t come here to enjoy Gwil’s skills anymore. He could invite him over, though, cook for him and make Gwil feel as welcome and as home as Gwil is making him feel right now. It’s a thought worth considering and he’ll keep it in the back of his mind.

Afterwards they settle on the couch with the rest of the wine and keep on chatting about this and that, basically just enjoying a great evening together. Ben can’t help but take Gwil in, his face and mouth and his kind eyes. He isn’t quite sure what he likes about him the most and maybe it’s just the whole package. Not just his looks, just the way he makes Ben feel at home when he is with him. He just likes being with him, loves being with him, actually. And maybe Joe is right. Maybe Ben should do something about it.

“A penny for your thoughts,” Gwil says, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Ben laughs softly. “Sorry... I just.” He shrugs and turns a little more towards him. “You know, when you really like someone, yeah? And you want the best for them. Well, you want to be with them, too. But you’re not selfish about that because they deserve the best and you’re not too sure if you’re the best and you’re not sure if you can make them happy at all.”

Gwil frowns at that. “I’m not sure I can follow?”

“Well. There is someone I like. More than like, actually.” Ben bites his lip, watching Gwil closely. “And I’m not sure how to tell him.”

“Oh.” Gwil nods as realisation washes over his face, his features falling for a moment before he catches himself again. “Well, be straightforward, I’d say.” He takes a sip of his wine. “Unless you’re not sure that he wants you back. I mean. It’s Joe, right? Just tell him and I’m sure... You know him. He loves you, too. I’m just not too sure he wants to be with you like that, Ben. But maybe he’ll surprise us both.”

“What?” Ben stares at him. “What are you on about?”

Gwil blinks. “What? You said you like him.”

“Well, I didn’t say it was Joe, did I?” Ben shakes his head before he starts laughing softly. “God, no. Imagine! I mean, Joe? Seriously, Gwil?”

“Hey. He’s a very handsome, funny and amazing man.” Gwil nudges him. “I don’t see what’s wrong about him.”

“Yes, yes. I know. I love him, too. Just. Not like that, you know? I don’t want to shag him.” Ben chuckles and shakes his head. “Why did you think it’s him?”

Gwil shrugs a little awkwardly, a blush on his cheeks. “I don’t know. It’s the first time you’re telling me you also like men and then you tell me there’s someone you like. I thought you wanted to tell me in a nice way that you want to date Joe.”

Ben shakes his head. “Okay, maybe I can see how you’d jump to that conclusion, but no. It’s not. I’m not in love with Joe.”

Gwil nods. “Good. I’m not sure I would have liked it, I have to tell you that. I really want to be a supportive friend and I want you to be happy. But there’s a certain limit to that.”

Ben chuckles softly. “Well, I’m glad.”

“I don’t think that’s something to be glad about,” Gwil says and shakes his head. “I basically just admitted to you that my jealousy would be too strong. It’s nothing to be glad about, or proud of. I actually feel a bit ashamed.”

Ben shakes his head and nudges him gently. “Don’t be. It’s sweet that you’re jealous about that. Although I’m not sure it’s because of Joe or because of me?”

Gwil watches him then, his gaze flicking over his face as he takes him in. “Who do you like, Ben?” He asks back, his voice quiet.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Ben bites his lip, feeling his cheeks heat up a little as well.

“Neither did you.”

“I asked you first though.”

Gwil chuckles softly. “Fair enough. Well. I think it would be because I’d feel left out, for one. We’ve all got a pretty special friendship, the three of us, and if the two of you had something I couldn’t take part in it would make me sad.”

Ben nods. “Of course. I get that. I would feel the same.” It’s not even a lie. Gwil is right. They all have a special friendship and it’s one thing to joke about the other’s jealousy and nudge him a little than to have him actually third wheeling.

“And I’m sure Joe would feel the same as well,” Gwil says and frowns again. “Although he constantly keeps telling me differently.”

“Oh?” Ben tilts his head to the side. “How so?”

“He says he is jealous, but he isn’t jealous like that.”

Ben draws his eyebrows together, thinking back to his last visit in New York when they had a similar conversation and Joe actually said something similar to him. “He’s quite the meddler, isn’t he?” He asks after a moment, his lips twitching in a smile.

“The worst.” Gwil chuckles and leans forward to take Ben’s glass as well, putting both of them on the couch table. “So, back to my question. Who do you like, Ben?”

He sits back a little closer than before but he isn’t touching Ben. He is just watching him curiously, his eyes soft as ever. Ben could kiss him. He wants to. It’s not the first time he’s having these thoughts but it’s the first time he’s actually allowing himself to think them and god, he really wants to touch Gwil’s lips with his own. “You,” Ben whispers finally. “I really like you.”

It’s as if Gwil has just waited for him to say it. He smiles softly at him and shuffles closer. “I like you, too,” Gwil whispers back, bringing up his hand to cup Ben’s cheek gently, his hand warm and soft against Ben’s skin. “Can I kiss you?”

Ben nods ever so gently and he moves forward at the same time as Gwil does. He wants to keep his eyes open to see for himself to believe it’s actually happening but they close on their own accord as Gwil’s lips touch his and it’s just like he hasn’t dared to imagine, only better because this time it’s real. It is a chaste kiss, just a touch of their lips, just a little test if this is something they both like and Ben makes a soft sound before he moves closer and tilts his head to the side, deepening the kiss as he does so. Gwil opens his mouth easily to Ben’s demanding tongue and he pulls him closer, the two of them sinking back into the cushions together, Gwil on his back and Ben on top of him.

Once started, neither seems to want to stop. They keep on kissing, exploring and nibbling as their hands start roaming over each other’s body, clearly not ready to end this there.

Eventually though Ben leans back to look down at Gwil to take in his blissed out expression and his red lips, a little swollen from their kissing, making him smile softly. He brings up his hand to cup his cheek, his thumb gently tracing over Gwil’s cheekbone. It’s a good look on him, and it feels even better to know that Ben has put it there. It’s still surreal but eventually Ben will be able to wrap his head around it.

Gwil smiles back and wraps his arms around him to hug him a little closer, one hand moving down to Ben’s bum to give it a gentle squeeze. “I’m glad Joe meddled. Or we still wouldn’t be where we are now.”

Ben nods. “True. But stop talking about him when you’ve got your hands on my bum and I’m about to kiss you again,” he whispers and leans in to press his mouth to Gwil’s again, kissing his chuckle right of his lips.

—

Ben wakes up the next morning, still on the couch, with the quilt that has been lying on the backrest of it draped over him and Gwil snuggled up against his naked back, one arm and leg wrapped around him. He’s hot and sweaty but he doesn’t want to move out of the embrace, too comfortable in Gwil’s arms at last.

They will eventually have to talk about this, about where they are going from here. Because Ben doesn’t want this to be a onetime thing. Gwil is too important to him for that and he is quite sure that Gwil doesn’t want it to be a onetime thing either. But right now Ben doesn’t want to think about it, right now he just wants his head to shut up for a few more minutes for once as he wants to keep Gwil to him a little longer, wants to enjoy their closeness.

He brings up Gwil’s hand to his mouth and presses a gentle kiss to the back of it, smiling against the skin when Gwil grumbles against his neck a little. “Go back to sleep,” he mumbles and tightens his grip around Ben some more, hugging him impossibly closer.

“Good morning to you, too,” Ben whispers back and chuckles softly, pressing another soft kiss to the back of Gwil’s hand. It’s perfect. Right here, right now. It’s the best Christmas present Ben could have asked for. Not that he did ask for it. But he couldn’t be happier. Of course it won’t all be sunshine and roses, but right now it’s perfect and Ben really doesn’t want to miss a thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Christmas!   
> I’m [sassypopstar](http://sassypopstar.tumblr.com) on tumblr. If you want to come and talk to me. <3


End file.
